Monday, November 5, 2007

Beware the Lincoln Park axe-murderer!


I am hereby filing formal notification of intention to become a homicidal maniac. It's not my fault, though: I blame one particular wingman of the squadron of ice cream trucks based at 629 Briggs Ave., Ontario.



The one currently parked in front of our house for a cig break.

The one that hasn't bothered to turn of his @#$%$%$¶§ music.

The one that decided today was a great day to run through his entire repertoire of Christmas music.

I'm going now to ask him to either turn off his music or move along, and if he doesn't comply, I'm going to strangle him with my bare hands, after I pummel him to death with my little gnocchi fists and ram popsicle sticks into his eardrums.

Forget bordellos on wheels (does anyone else think of For the Love of Ivy or is it just me?) -- the real menace is ice cream trucks parking on the streets of our neighborhood and increasing the murder rate!

And I'm only half-kidding, in case you're wondering.

5 comments:

Goddess of Pomona said...

Goddess of Pomona writes:

Can I come over and get in a punch too? I've been gunning for the driver of that ice cream truck for awhile now. To play a warped version of Dashing Through the Snow when it is August and 105 degrees outside should be a crime. The punishment should be, of course, to force him to listen to said warped Xmas music while in a 105 degree room for a year.

[I had double-posted by accident, and her comment on the other duplicate hadn't shown up until after I deleted it -- meg]

Ed said...

I don't know if this factoid is true, but I've been told that they aren't allowed to play the music around the parks.

I guess you're not close enough to the park. Neener! Neener! Neener!

Real mature!? I thought I'd go with the whole children and ice cream theme.

meg said...

Mature? You're talking to the wrong neighbor, Ed. Even if I weren't wearing my Powerpuff Girl earrings, no one would ever accuse me of maturity.

me said...

If I can barge in on you guys' hopscotch game: the "rule" that I have heard is that the ice cream trucks are supposed to stop playing the music (warped or otherwise) when the truck comes to a stop to sell ice cream. G of P

meg said...

That's a sensible rule. Now to pass a law to make it apply to cigarette breaks...